you've got to grow up sometime

I realize what a sweeping statement I just made, but hear me out.

I’m going though a very… let’s call it transitional point in my life right now. I’ve said several times before how much working six days a week sucks (it does) and how I’m trying to change that (I am), which has led me to applying for new jobs left and right. Now, I thought resumes and job applications were pretty standard, no real surprise kind of deals.

Not always.

So imagine little ol’ me, excited to go to a job interview for a position that I knew I could be great at – and one that paid $40k! – but nervous that I would somehow bomb… the usual pre-interview jitters. The email I had gotten said to be ready to spend two or so hours there for some “testing, no need to prepare” and a “quick chat with the CEO.”

I should have listened to my parents. How annoying is that?! While I was spouting off to them about how this job would be so fantastic and how my whole entire future would be DOOMED if I didn’t get it, they listened patiently. And then they both said, “No job that will test you is worth your time.”

I, however, did not want to believe them. I thought it would be a typing test or something and afterward, I’d be able to go over my job application with them and talk and things would be dandy.

Not so much.

I go in, take a typing test… as I expected. Then I get brought to a desk, am told I have an hour to complete part one of the test, which I am then told over and over again, everyone who works here has taken this test. Well, okay. I’m smart. I can handle this.

It was the effing LSAT.

I wish I was joking! It was literally like ten pages out of an LSAT prep book. I couldn’t believe it! I was doing just fine until I got to the question that will haunt me forever.

If ATLANTIC equals 50, what does PACIFIC equal?

…I’m sorry? Was that English? (If anyone can solve that riddle, I’ll give you a million dollars. Make that a bazillion.) At that point, I knew I was doomed. Not only that, but I didn’t even WANT a job that would put me through such ridiculousness. Not to mention that the “quick chat with the CEO” took place standing up in the lobby in front of the receptionist (very profesh… except not at all) and consisted mostly of him glancing at my resume, asking me a total of two questions, and saying they’d get back to me after they scored my test.

Needless to say, when they didn’t call me in for a second interview (not that the first actually counted as an interview – THAT would require me to have time to say something), I wasn’t shocked. Mostly annoyed that I had wasted three hours of my time – more if you factor in the drive over and back – and that I knww I could have been good at the job.

In my continuing job search, I’m sure I’ll have more wacky interviews to share, but I just don’t know if I can survive another LSAT. I’m not Elle Woods.